On the Lighter Side (2)

home-remedies.jpgA couple of weeks ago, my niece shared a list of simple home remedies with me. Since I’m taking a bit of a blogging break, I thought you might appreciate some of Amy’s insight on life. Here are most of the remedies on her list. Thanks, Amy!

1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

4. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

5. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

6. Things to remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

7. Finally, be really nice to your family and friends; You never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

Anyone have additional suggestions?

About a fellow sojourner

a sojourner in life, trying to follow in the steps of Jesus.
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4 Responses to On the Lighter Side (2)

  1. Rachel says:

    Happy Birthday, Bill! I don’t have a remedy, but I do have a favorite expression that I heard from evangelist Hal Webb when I was in a junior high school chapel service. “You can’t run with a skunk and smell like a rose.” This was a statement used to encourage us as young people to choose our friends wisely. As you can see, it made an impression and it has stuck with me all these years later!

  2. Dee Andrews says:

    #6 there strikes too close to home for me, Bill – the “if you woke up breathing” one. But I AM still breathing, even if with the help of some oxygen now and then still, so guess I need to be “congratulated” too.

    You, yourself, woke up another year older and still breathing, so I guess you need to be congratulated, as well. So . . . HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BILL!!!!

    Just remember there’s “no such thing as a free lunch” and “too many candles can start a massive fire” so be careful how you spend your day and with whom! ha!

    Have fun, though! Take any free lunches offered and give out lots of “rain checks” in return for much, MUCH later. The rain also helps with the candles or else watch out for the overhead sprinklers!!

    Cheers on your birthday! Enjoy! Dee

  3. jel says:

    I got one , and it works
    for a wasp sting use an inkpen ballpoint and draw circles around the sting, thing is you have to do this right after the sting , so keep a inkpen with you! my husband laughed at me when i first told him, until he got stung, that is !

    hope you had a good hbday today! Bill:)

  4. Amy says:

    Have to admit, I didn’t think of them, they were just sent to me, and I thought they were kind of cool! The older I get, the more sense #7 makes though…. Hope you had a wonderful birthday Bill!

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